I Strongly Dislike Kenny Chesney

Never mind that I'm not a big fan of modern country music (although, to be fair, I was never anything more than a barely moderate fan of any form of country music, with the sole possible exception of the likes of Garth Brooks, Clint Black, and the Kentucky Headhunters, which I know is somewhat stereotypical, but do me a favor, if you like rock and roll music, then go listen to the Kentucky Headhunters, and then tell me that's not some good stuff), but I learned on Friday that I rather detest Kenny Chesney.

Sadly, I was watching the Oprah Winfrey show on Friday, a regrettable side-effect of having a nice girl fall asleep on your couch with the TV on, and of being a gentleman and not wanting to move, reach for the remote, or change the channel for fear of waking her up. It was Kenny Chesney day on Oprah Winfrey on Friday. Kenny Chesney, I quickly learned, is a huge country music star with a penchant for using a wide variety of ill-fitting hats to cover his male-pattern baldness.

Now, the baldness and the bland, stereotypical country music are not reasons enough for me to detest Kenny Chesney. But these are:

• When asked by Oprah why he was making "Kenny Chesney in 3-D," his wholly-necessary-I'm-sure film tribute to himself, he honestly said, "Because I want to show what it's really all about, what's really important. Not my staff, not the record company, not my band... just me. And the fans." Way to appreciate your team, Ken.
• When asked by Oprah about his failed marriage,Chesney replied that he had to keep his priorities straight in life, and music was the most important thing to him, more than family, and that his wife didn't really fit into his lifestyle as well as he'd hoped. She's got her own life, her own career, and he didn't really care for that. Surprisingly, Oprah empathized with him, saying that's why she didn't get married: because any other individualism would cramp her style. Nice people, these.
• When asked by Oprah if there was anything he'd ever wanted to do but hadn't yet done, he said he wanted to take his grandmother on a plane ride. So they did. The multi-million dollar music star, who owns his own plane, had never bothered in the past to take his 'beloved grandmother' on a ride. What made it even worse, as we learned as the cameras followed him for this magical moment, his grandmother lives in a tiny shack in the middle of nowhere. Way to take care of your family, Ken.

So there you go... I've watched an episode of Oprah for the first time in my life, and learned I detest Kenny Chesney. Next time I'll have something more intelligent to talk about, I promise.