"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" or "Three Days with Twins"

So many lessons learned from the first three days of having both Benjamin Justin Lemoine and Kristopher James Lemoine at home... sounds like it's time for another bullet-point blog post!

• Both babies are healthy. That's the important thing. They seem pretty happy, too. Speaking of which....
• I'm reminded of an old Edwin Edwards (former governor of Louisiana) quote: "Louisiana is not first in everything that is bad, and last in everything that is good." That said, Benjamin is not first in all the negative records, and he is not second in all of the positive records. Sure, Kristopher took top honors for being the first baby to roll over on his own (already!) and Benjamin took top honors for being the first baby to have diarrhea. Sure, Kristopher took top honors for being the first baby to finish off his whole bottle, and Benjamin took top honors for being the first baby to experience explosive projectile defecation (seriously, it was amazing! I'm going to hang a mini-poster of Kenny Chesney next to the diaper-changing table, so he has a target next time!). On the other hand, Benjamin is completely wiping the floor with Kristopher on smile-count (about 27 to 0, at last count), and Benjamin took top honors for being the first twin to do a push-up.
• It's started to amuse me how many parents smile at me and say things like, "Get ready to not sleep!" or "Your peaceful times are behind you!" or "Prepare to be stressed for the next few years!" Some of you do it in fun... and some of you are way too serious and obnoxious about it. Seriously, what's wrong with you people? Do you have any idea how smug you look and sound? Are you enjoying the idea that I might lose some relaxation time in my future? Why do you seem so joyous when you tell me this? Tell you what, all of you who love to try to freak me and my wife out: I'll make you a bet. I'll raise two babies at once where you raised one, and I'll do it while I get a $*#&ing doctorate from a top business school, and after all that, I'll still have a more positive outlook than you do. Care to place a wager on it?
• I am rapidly getting tired of "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep," and really missing the dulcet tones of Delain and Within Temptation.
• I wonder how much you can tell about babies' personalities from the first week. So far, Kristopher seems to be quiet, studious, and observant to an almost scary degree. Meanwhile, Benjamin is happier, louder, and more emotional overall. And smellier.
• I am terrified of returning to school tomorrow, taking my make-up exam, and trying to catch up on everything I've missed.
• Grandmothers are good. Most people I know would be horrified at the prospect of their mother-in-law coming to stay for a couple of weeks, but mine has been nothing but helpful. And it's impossible to dislike her; she always has the best presents around Christmas-time....
• Debby says it's a bad idea for babies to look at televisions until they're two years old; I haven't seen the research, but I trust her expertise. Thus, as I held my children during the Saints game today, I did it in such a way so that they could not see the screen. In hindsight, I wish I'd held myself the same way, too.
• Benjamin is a mathematical genius already! I asked him, "Benjamin, what is the square root of four?"... and then he blinked twice! Wow!!!
• When a nurse tries to tell you the details about the procedure and necessity of your sons' circumcisions, this forms an excellent example of the old truism that there are some things one is better off not knowing.
• If you're very nice to the nurse practitioner and manage to make her laugh at least five times, you won't get a free sample box of baby formula. You'll get seven or eight.
• My frequency of using the phrase, "Nom Nom Nom" has increased by approximately 2500% since having kids.
• There is little in the world more relaxing to me than reclining on the sofa with a baby on my chest and a Nintendo DS in my hands. So long as it's after I've burped and changed them, anyway.
• If you mention Kerry in a post, she really likes it.

And now, the obligatory pictures:

Ben, 6 days:

Kristopher, 5 days:

Kristopher, 6 days: