Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Blogs I'll Never Write

  • I will probably never blog about Chick-Fil-A again. Honestly, you only got half of the story about Chick-Fil-A a few months back. There's more to the story... a lot more... both in terms of fascinating culture and trade secrets that they were remarkably free with. But due to corporate professionalism and friendly confidentiality, the rest of the story must sadly remain a secret.
  • I will never finish that personal entry I started a few weeks ago. I have part of a blog written about some odd changes in my personality that have taken place over the last year or so... confusing changes wherein I no longer see the glass as half-full or half-empty, but instead I wonder what the glass is made of, or what exactly the liquid is, or I just get distracted and wander off to watch the people go by. I find I have absolutely no expectation, for good or ill, regarding major events in my future. I had no idea if my move to Atlanta would be good or bad, and I didn't wonder about it at all. Same for grad school. I don't even have strong expectations of any kind regarding my impending fatherhood. The future is just... open. I've never been like this. Isn't that curious?

    Anyway, I'll never finish the blog because, simply, it seemed pretty boring.
  • Speaking of family, no, I will not write a blog about my mother. It's none of your damn business. Now stop asking me about it. You know who you are.
  • I could write a long and scholarly blog about the superhero comic books of the 1960's, how I have a major weakness for them, and why I think they're such a blast to read. But not only would that be boring to 99% of you... haven't I already done a good enough job of convincing you that I'm a geek?
  • I'm never going to post an entry featuring pictures of my kids in their new Twilight Halloween costumes... because that will never, never, never happen.
  • I won't talk politics with you, because most Americans are so closed-minded about politics that trying to share an opinion that might diverge from their own is as futile as banging your head against a cypress tree. I am a political independent, and I neither understand nor appreciate the concept of the political party. I also fail to understand why one set of views is "conservative" and the other "liberal"... why would you believe one thing just because you believe another thing under your labeled umbrella? Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we actually talked through things to find the best answer, rather than blindly following dogma?
  • Speaking of umbrellas, I won't write a blog about that awesome Louisiana FFA umbrella that I lost at the game ranch before the Ponchatoula FFA training last summer. It would just be depressing. Damn, I miss that umbrella.
  • And speaking of FFA, I will likely never write a blog about just how much FFA means to me, and how much of an impact the association made on my life... because I don't want all of the other, very-good-in-their-own-right student organizations to get jealous.
  • I will never write a blog about American Idol, reality shows, or celebrity events... because I don't care, and I honestly don't understand why you do, either. Wish I did. I wrote about Oprah once, but I promise that was an isolated occurence performed solely to firmly establish the roots of my antiChesneyism.
  • I will never write a blog about X-Assault. That's well and truly in the past, sorry.
  • I will never write a blog about the leadership secrets of Scooby-Doo. Sorry, you'll just have to catch the workshop next time I'm on the circuit... that shouldn't be more than four years or so!
  • I will never write a blog about regrets, the things I didn't say, the things I didn't do. I won't do it because regrets make no sense. Why look back when you can look forward? Those who dwell in the past turn their back on the future. I tend to forget a lot of the bad stuff, anyway. For instance, I have absolutely no memory of shoving that pebble up my nose in second grade.
  • I will never blog about Panda Express, because blog posts are expected to be of a certain minimum length, and there's only so many times you can repeat, "I love orange chicken."
  • I will never blog asking my readers to link to the NeverTown on social networks, or to tell their friends about the site... because I'm sure you're doing that already!
  • I will never write a blog about how I'm asleep while I'm writing this, because that would be rather difficult, wouldn't it?
  • I will never blog about how terrible my life is... because I choose not to allow that to happen.

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